It only took three days to bring me to my knees.
How can anyone be expected to keep up such a cheerful, educational, teacher-y pace for THREE WHOLE DAYS?
You know – except for teachers.
Today was sooper hard. It started great (ahead of schedule, even!) but by the time we finished our Bible lesson we had lost the three-year-old to the deepest grief she’d ever known (I had declined to share my breakfast – a granola bar – with her fully-breakfasted belly. The nerve.)
It didn’t take long for the six-year-old to follow. Math will do that to you. I even let him skip writing out the days of the week today, but I’m afraid that if I ask him to fill in one more number chart in the next century he might decide to drop out of 1st grade altogether and apply for a job at the Sonic Drive-in.
I’ll bet you they have to know their days of the week there. I just bet it.
And really, when there are tears in the first half hour of the school day from both the preschool and the 1st grade ends of the table, you have to know it’s going to be an uphill battle for the rest of the morning.
But hark – a beacon of hope! We learned yesterday that our neighborhood has RECESS everyday at 10am – and it’s just at an intersection that’s super close to our house! Turns out there are lots of homeschool families around me, so every day they gather with their bicycles and their sidewalk chalk and their mobile trampolines and double-dutch ropes (okay, the double dutch was an exaggeration) to give all the kids a chance to play together.
“You guys! Recess is in forty-five minutes! YOU CAN MAKE IT!!”
Y’all. They could. not. make. it.
I tried. In spite of the whining. In spite of their reluctance to talk about what sound ‘bat’ begins with. In spite of all of that – I tried to grant grace. I tried to be all loosey-goosey homeschooley flexible and say “no worries! we’ve got all day to do this! Let’s give it another go when we get back home – maybe we just all need a reset!”
But Oliver did NOT want to wear flip flops. And his other shoes were too muddy for him. And his other shoes weren’t his favorite. And his other shoes were nowhere to be found. And patience was lost. And flip flops were kicked off of his size-1 feet higher than the house in an angry fit and I was grateful that the recess crowd was not meeting at our intersection today.
We went back inside.
The rest of the morning was just a blur of failed attempts at any and all educational and interpersonal interactions. Oliver eventually found himself room-bound, at his desk, alone with his school work, having disrespected his tender and patient (and not at all exasperated!) teacher one-too-many times. Oh, and then there was the walk-by sucker punch to his sister’s tummy that could only be explained by the deliverer as an effect of “too much time on the iPad” (whaaaaah?)
I give.
The honeymoon is over.
I need a weekend, a strong cup of coffee and a burrito.
I know. Mama said there’d be days like this. And so do all the teachers saints (homeschool and classroom) everywhere. But for now, I’m just going to pull a hoodie over my head, find a dark corner of Chipotle and if anybody wants to know anything about the days of the week I’m just going to pretend that I don’t speak English.
Raechel-I’m sorry that today was so tough! I teach part-time and I think a lot of classroom teachers can sympathize with you. The first few days are the “honeymoon”-the excitement of a new year, new supplies, new clothes, and everyone is on their best behavior…then it sets in, oh yeah, we have to keep doing this everyday! ;) Hang in there! I’ll pray that you are rejuvenated over the weekend!
Thanks for the encouragement, Dawn! We will find our stride – we just need a weekend away to reset and we’ll all feel better on Monday… right?! ;)
I was reminded tonight that it is a marathon and not a sprint… keeping a maintainable pace is good to remember, too!
Oh, Rae, you make me laugh! You are doing a pretty good job of laughing at yourself, lady. (I lost it at the sucker punch.) At least it’s the weekend, right? I really should be offering you lots of encouragement, but you know I am cheering you on from afar, so mainly I’m going to share how hard I laughed. Kids are such terrorists sometimes.
I’m so sorry, but I’m laughing so hard right now. We are also new homeschoolers and just started last week. I have a 9 year old, 7 year old, and a 3 year old (same day as Hazel). We’ve already experienced these days. And today just happened to be one of THOSE days for my 9 year old. It took him 6 hours to do what took him 1.5 hours to do yesterday. It was just not going for him today. I share in your wanting to hide in the corner of Chipotle, unfortunately, we live in the middle of Tennessee with no Chipotle :(. And alas~ even with the hard days (and we’ve already had our fair share) I still have a supernatural peace and calmness knowing that THIS is where we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing for our family and our children right at this very moment.
Are you remembering how you treated your teachers? (Not that I know.) Hang in there. Great writing!
oh my word. this was our day too! Math led to crying, and wallowing on the floor because it asked him to circle a number and then draw however many friends of that particular number…” I don’t have any friends anymore…because you made me do school at home. I didn’t pick zeeeeeeroooo but I have zeeeerrrrrooo friends!” Thanks for the laugh mama! Glad someone else is in the trenches!
As a teacher who now homeschools, don’t fret about the writing part of math. One thing I love (and loathe) about Saxon is the repetition. It’s wonderful for the kids that are a little slow to catch on, but for the bright kids, it can be a killjoy. With my son, we only do the “A” side of the worksheet, as the “B” side is redundant. I should note, however, that I expect him to do all of the “A” side primarily by himself. I don’t walk him through it like the teacher’s guide instructs. Also, some kids just don’t like writing when they have to. I know as a mama, and as a teacher, you do need to have authority. Certainly when you ask your students to do something, they should do it. However, if you have a reluctant writer, it is my opinion that dictation can work just as well, especially at a young age.
Oh goodness…how I feel your pain! I’m in my 3rd year of helping my son through online schooling. Like a goober, I thought it would be a breeze because we started this in Jr. High! He’d already been through 7 years of traditional school and had all the basics in place, right!? OH MY…how wrong was I!? He started 9th grade this year…HIGH SCHOOL! He’s almost 14 and has a mind of his own, and, shall we say…strong will??…to match! :/ We’ve had online orientation for 6 teachers and 6 classes to attend, 6 sets of contact info and rules to learn and 6 calendars of assignments to print…OY! We’ve been working til after 9pm every night this week to get things turned in on time. I’ve had more than one evening of near-tears and a short fuse. I was just at my breaking point yesterday, when my angel neighbor brought over a simple bouquet of flowers for me…for giving her daughter a ride to school. It snapped me out of my funk faster than I could process it. Adjustments are rough…switching gears is rarely seamless…and we just need to give ourselves some time to smooth out the wrinkles and it’ll all fall into place! At least that’s what I keep telling myself! ;)
Oh my soul. I have no clue how hard this must be but girl I feel for ya.
Bless you heart.
Mighty prayers headed your way !!
I second the reminder that we (as parents–not just homeschoolers) are running a marathon. Sometimes that helps me–sometimes it doesn’t–but it’s good perspective. It is a huge adjustment for you all. I admire what a great strategist you are to start mid-week so that after your day-three meltdowns you would have a weekend to regroup. ;-) See what a natural you are? One thing that has redeemed many a day filled with frazzled nerves and bad attitudes here–and I’m not even talking about the dc ;-) –was a good read-aloud session. Love you, Friend. Praying for you this weekend.
Thank you so much Raechel for sharing this. I’m about to start homeschooling my preschooler and toddler in a couple of weeks and I’m picturing that it’ll look exactly like this most days. I’m glad I won’t be alone and I’ll continue to read on for the highs and lows of homeschooling so I can rejoice and commiserate along with you. Blessings on your journey.
Instead of writing out the days of the week how about singing a song? Dancing? Maybe writing them out occasionally but do it in different ways? Incorporate it in a daily oral language that he has to correct the errors? I don’t know of many new first graders who would sit through writing them all out.
Sheesh. Thats a day. Heres some sunlight though and I found this very interesting when I noticed it was day 3 for you too.
My daughter started kindergarten on monday. It was a breeze, remarkably. Considering shes not one for being too far away from me, had never had a school day so long before and its a full immersion french school. I was amazed! Day 2, woke up, got dressed, had breakfast and packed up her bag all with a very eager smile painted across her face. Same smile after school as well. Day 3, totally different child. She went into self destruct mode. Funny thing was that so many of my friends whom are teachers, lovely, lovely teachers also commented on how difficult day 3 was-even if school started on tues. Hmmm. So interesting I think. Soooo, perhaps you too experienced the day 3 phenomenon and if so im here to let you know that day 4 & 5 were just like 1 & 2. Good luck!
Oh no! Don’t tell me that! My daughter starts full immersion French kinder in two weeks. My son cried for four weeks straight but my daughter is super excited and since her brother goes there I’m praying and crossing my fingers for none of that. I hope things turn around for your little one!
Laughing. And crying (with empathy), And smiling. And crying (with fear). And laughing some more.
I’ll take some of the coffee. I just can’t do a burrito. Yet.
Love you.
What?! No corn tortillas or beans for you?? ;)
There are good days and there are bad days. :)
Remember — you can do whatever you want with whatever resources you have. When my kids are little (especially my son who didn’t have great fine motor skills) we don’t write anything they don’t want to. My son does most of his school out loud, and we concentrate on writing separately. No sense in holding him back from loving science and math because of writing. It’s hard for some kids.
Maybe it would be easier to slowly introduce one subject at a time? Or just make sure to hit recess anyway? (Wow! I wish I lived close enough to so many homeschoolers!!)
(I’ll be honest — we aim for 1-2 hours a day for my kids. Tops. Closer to 2 now that the little one wants her own work to do. Some days we skip. Especially if it’s pretty. Okay, many days we skip… But they just never manage to stop learning. ;) )
But, anyway, you’re doing great! It can take a while to adjust to a totally new situation for everyone. :) And you know what? As soon as you all get used to it, the kids will be older and suddenly change, and you’ll do it all over again. Little adjustments all the time…
(We’re about to start year 7… and you what? No matter how relaxed a homeschooler I am, I always look back and wished I had been even more relaxed! Read books, play, go outside. Snuggle. The rest just falls into place because they *love* learning and beg to read books about octopuses, or solve puzzles…)
“No sense in holding him back from loving science and math because of writing.” THIS made my day to read. I feel like I knew this, but I hadn’t given myself permission to act on it. I had a little chat with Oliver this afternoon about maybe approaching some of the unpleasantries of math from a different angle and he’s looking forward to re-tackling things on Monday. Thank you!
I welcome any more advice you have to share, Katie! Thanks for taking the time! xoxo
My kids are all grown up now, and my baby is in her last year of her undergrad program, but I remember the days you are describing. It gets better. And worse, depending on the day. But I’m glad I got to share these days with my kids.
By the way, great descriptions. And I like the way you play with sentence structure.
I enjoyed reading your post. It brought back lots of sweet memories for me????. I am on the other end of things; my homeschooling days are behind me. Hang in there! It can be done!
Mom to one college sophomore (homeschooled K-12) and one high school sophomore (homeschooled preschool-8; chose to spend high school years in a more traditional setting????)
Our honeymoon period sounds like your honeymoon period :)
5 kids and entering our 14th Year at home…I can tell you that it is worth it. Give yourself time. Number one humbling realization….you are the one who must change. When that is underway…you will see change in the kids.
Oh man, that’s so true. Good to realize, though! Thanks for that!
I’m 10 years in, but this year my youngest two are grade 1 and preschool. All I ever wanted was for them to love learning. Sigh, there are indeed days like this. The good news is as you keep on going, there are less, and I still like my big kids (and I truly wondered if I would 9 years back!). Good job on completing 3 days. You have a life time ahead of you where they will be learning from you, regardless of where they school, hang in there, have some salsa. His mercies are new every morning :)
You are hilarious and adorable and you know the best part? You are able to laugh! Such a great quality. (Proverbs 31 woman for sure!) I just read it takes 21 days to create a habit and 29 to break a habit. You’re three days in. You got this. By God’s grace, you totally got this, girl.
What you’re doing is amazing and so courageous. He lead you to this path, and He’ll give you the strength and words to get you through. Praying for you, and your beautiful family.
“But for now, I’m just going to pull a hoodie over my head, find a dark corner of Chipotle and if anybody wants to know anything about the days of the week I’m just going to pretend that I don’t speak English. ”
I started laughing out loud and maybe even snorted.
It will get better. It’s just finding your groove. It’s a HUGE adjustment. You’ll get there.
As a kid who was home schooled from kinder thru 10th I say “chin up.” Harrowing for sure- and the same for the kids whose honeymoon period is over too- but think of this: how wonderful is it that when they are overwhelmed and done, they are there with their Mama to guide them to turning their feelings over to God and to put everything into gentle Christian perspective, instead of just grinning and bearing and punching the kid in the hall and then getting scooted off to the principle’s office. It’s not always pretty but this is exactly what you are going for- learning to cry out to God is done in the trenches much more often than the sunshine- how joyous that they get to learn this early. I’ll be praying for you.
We homeschool too and I so know this feeling all too well myself. It’s always so nice to have the really good days, but when you have the bad days you literally just want to go in a dark room and just scream sometimes. Or maybe thats just me. But still I know where you’re coming from. Prayers for you this school year! :)
Now you know why I start drinking wine on Friday at 4 pm! Emma’s favorite quote “It’s 5 pm somewhere in the world.” Stick with it, it only gets worse…..encouragement is not my spiritual gift!
Hahahahaha! I LOVE you, Amy Fenton!! You made Ryan and me laugh out loud! :)
I have to say that I am enjoying and appreciating your sharing and honesty through this transition! We have a two-year-old and plan on homeschooling her, and your posts are encouraging but still realistic. I hope it gets better for you!
I laughing at you and not at you, but this is the exact reason I can not homeschool. I know for a fact I do not have the patience to do it. As much as I want my kids home and not in settings I don’t like, I know my personality and I know I would loose it and it would be a war at my house. My poor husband would walk in from work to a war zone daily over it so its best for us that ours go out into the real world and deal with real teachers and not me trying to be something I am not. At least I know my limitations I guess. I’m not even good at the homework hustle so teaching is completely out.
Oh no!! Teaching is HARD. I tried it in a traditional setting for a year, and it was NOT for me. I’m back to my writing career, which is so much better for me. I’ve thought about homeschooling my future kids because I’m not exactly thrilled with the direction public education going, but I’m really not sure that I could do it.
I’ve heard that it takes two weeks to get adjusted to a new routine, so I’m sure that it will get better!
IT IS A TEST AND ONLY A TEST. They are seeing upfront right away what they can get away with. Hold your ground mom/teacher. Ok. Then take a deep breath. Pray for the weekend to re-energize and enjoy that coffee and burrito. You can do this :)
I am a teacher who is stuck with a pre-designed curriculum. I’m sitting here thinking about the FREEDOM you have. Schooling and educating shouldn’t be about sitting down and doing pencil-paper tasks. It is about engagement and exploration. Read the book “The Project Approach” by Judy Harris Helm. Find a topic that your children enjoy and use it to build your activities. You could have as many study trips as you want! Go to the zoo. Pick an animal you want to research. Then have him tell you a story about the animal. Use that time to talk about the makeup of sentences. How big does the animal get? How fast does the animal move? Hello math! Buying the tickets to get in the zoo gives opportunity to teach money. Right now, I’m envious of the opportunity you have to get your children engaged in education! Some of my favorite projects are gardening, butterflies and egg hatching/baby chicks. Enjoy the process :-)
Oh Honey, Homeschooling is hard. I won’t tell you what I think of the people who paint the pretty picture that it’s not. But I really believe that God has given me the desire to homeschool for myself just as much as for my kids. He teaches me so much more than I feel that I teach them. Hugs Mama. He’ll equip you!
Oh dear. At least with bad days we know there are good days ahead. This seems really hard!!! And I thought a cat was a lot of work….. hang in there!
Oh my word, I’m laughing tears! We’re considering homeschooling next year, and I so appreciate this perspective. Thanks for keeping it honest!
I wish we lived closer, we could be BFF’s! I am with ya. This is my 9th year homeschooling and my little guy has 2 more years before he even starts! ACK! I have such great intentions and then something happens. It is HARD! It is like “Eye of the Tiger” running flights of stairs HARD!!!!!