powerless

It’s been twenty-five days since I shared the crazy busy, but super happy state of our lives.

In fact, I remember specifically quoting Charles Spurgeon to you – talking about the bigness of what I sensed was coming and how that laid me low and buoyed me all at the same time.

“If you would feel how utterly powerless you are apart from the living God, attempt especially the great work of proclaiming the unsearchable riches of Christ.”

Those are the words I chose to share moments before I dove head-first into preparations for what would potentially be the biggest success or failure of my life. I didn’t know – but either way, I knew I was powerless apart from the living God. And I knew my calling was worth fighting for.

For those of you who read my personal blog, but might not keep tabs on what I’m referring to, She Reads Truth is a community of women committed to reading God’s Word together daily.

Last Monday, SheReadsTruth (founded 2 years ago, operated by myself, Amanda Bible Williams, and a small team of writers) launched a 30-day Kickstarter campaign to raise $35,000 to create a Bible + Devotional app for our community and beyond.

An hour before the scheduled launch, we weighed our options. Should we go for 45 days? What if 30’s not enough? We settled on 30, whispered a prayer and then sat down to watch.

I understood that $35,000 was a lot of money, but it was the amount we needed, and I penned these words on the She Reads Truth site on launch day:

It’s a big number. And yet, it’s really not.
I believe that if the Lord wills it, we could fund the app in a day.
I also believe it’s entirely possible that we may not fund at all. That will be through the sovereign Lord as well.

Would you believe we raised all $35,000+ in the first day?

In fact, 20 hours into day 1, I texted Amanda when I realized that neither of us had even thought to share the campaign on our personal blogs. It wasn’t even necessary.

Words cannot describe what that day meant to me.

Or maybe they can:

“If you would feel how utterly powerless you are apart from the living God, attempt especially the great work of proclaiming the unsearchable riches of Christ.”

There it is.

Powerless. Beautifully, gloriously powerless. That day I found my self in the most unspeakable free-fall of God’s grace and provision.

And direction.

Where there had been doubts about whether this was truly a right pursuit, they had been washed away. Where a dozen paths were at the same time open before us, one path – one stepping stone ahead – was graciously illuminated.

This isn’t a victory lap. No, not at all. It’s a battle cry to march forward! It’s an Ebenezer to mark a place where the Lord met with us this week – not just me, but everyone who gave and watched and prayed – and even those who doubted and then later confessed their doubts with praise to God!

You guys, the real work is yet ahead. Boy is it. Not every door will open so ceremoniously, and not every decision will be made as clear.

Pray for me – for Amanda, too. And for the ministry SheReadsTruth. As our territory expands, so will our responsibility. So does our vulnerability. To whom much is given, much is required.

This calling may be sure, but it will not be easy.

But I believe with all my heart that it will most certainly be worth it.

*If it’s alright, I’d still love to invite you to give to the campaign. $35,000 is enough to fund an iOS (iPhone + iPad) app, but we will need a full $65,000 to also build an Android app. Right now, we’re about $13,000 away from that goal (yes, you read that right. We’re already $17,000+ past our original goal!). Consider giving $10? Consider giving $13,000?  Each donation that comes in makes my phone ding – a little bit of manna, a little bit of grace. What a sweet way to watch names pop up and thank the Lord for each provision, and for each person by name. 

Also – since there’s really no option in my mind – I’m leaving you with a picture of Hazel and my nephews this morning when I dropped them off for the Ugly Bug Ball at preschool.

Also, a moving recitation of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, by Crazel.

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